thought id put up a couple of my favourites
Maelcom’s frown deepened. ‘You listen, Babylon mon,’ he said. ‘I a warrior. But this no m’ fight, no Zion fight. Babylon fightin’ Babylon, eatin i’self, ya know? But Jah seh I an’ I t’ bring Steppin Razor outa this.’
‘She a warrior,’ Maelcom said, as of it explained everything. ‘Now you tell me, mon, who I not t’ kill.’
What is with this weather? I think its probably stopped raining about twice since the thunderstorm the other night. Its just a continual downpour.
Usually I dont mind the rain…as Billy Connelly says “Theres no such thing as bad weather. Just the wrong kind of clothes.” I used to like walking home from work when I worked for Safeway in the pissing rain at 11pm or walking there to start a shift at 5-6am. Noone was about and all you could hear was the rain hitting the pavement or the leaves in the trees above. I really liked it in the morning…usually more so when I’d finished a nightshift…as when you left the store it would be pitch black and you could only see the rain in the car park lights but by the time you got home the sun had risen and even though you couldnt see it through the clouds it lit everything up. I loved staring up into the rain almost as much as staring up into a snow storm.
I do mind this kind of rain though simply becuase it is never ending. From the windows at work you can see Ben Lomond on a good day and right over the moors out towards Eaglesham and beyond. These days you can barely see beyond the end of the road. Its claustraphobic. I know the rest of the worlds out there but I’ll be buggered if I can see it!
“I think we broke Stoo”
My name got called and I looked up…the dentist was hot! Why she didnt have her own practice etc I’ll never know. Anyway she sat me down in a room that had no door with the sun blaring in my eyes and asked me a few more questions then pulled on the latex gloves and had a gander in my gub. It turns out it was nothing to do with the fillings I lost but rather a filling that was lose and the rot had got under it. I had two choices…extraction or root canal treatment and she didnt think there would be enough tooth left to rebuild if we went for the second option. “Fair enough” I thought.
She said if I was going for the extraction she’d see if a room and a student were free if not I’d have to come back in the afternoon. Thankfully there was…but as soon as she said student my heart stopped. I had my share of students try and get a tooth out my head before in this place without any luck until one guy climbed on my chest to get enough leverage. Anyway…along comes this young 20-ish attractive blonde student dentist. She was the size of a pea and couldnt get the tooth to budge…so the real dentist had a go…no dice. The next thing I know shes saying shes going to loosen the tooth up a bit and have another go and that I’s mabe feel a bit of pressure on my good teeth. Thirty minutes later the tooth comes out and everyone is relieved and then I look around the room.
In a normal dentists room when they work they have their tray of instruments which get quickly whisked away to be cleaned before you really get a chance to see them. My head turned and seen the tray…there was the wee mirror and pick thing…the foreceps with my tooth still gripped in them…and about 6 screwdrivery type things that I later found out to be what the dentist used to loosen my tooth off. Oh and blood everywhere on them…looked like a butchers.
She then buggered off to leave me making small talk witht he student who kept apologising for catching my lip between my front teeth and the foreceps. She seemed a bit more at ease when I said she could have hit me in the face witha hammer to get the tooth out and I’d still ahve thanked her. Anyway she went and got another dentist to check the hole in my gum and she brought back another stunningly attractive female dentist, this time a brunette. She said I was bleeding quite heavily and to give it another 5 minutes. After that time passed the student went and got another dentist to do a final check only for it to be a guy this time (honestly the only guy I seen there all day apart from the security guard on the front door) and I managed to bite his finger when he was putting a new bit of gauze in my mouth. that’ll teach him for not being a hot female dentist.
I need to stop this…I’m starting to sound like Fez reciting one of his fantasies!
“So what are you going to do?”
“It’s the principle, James.”
“With a pellet gun? What are you going to accomplish with that?”
“It allows me to seriously aggravate a situation without changing the course of history. It also stings like a bitch.”
“There’s two different types of pain. Pain and man pain.”
“What’s man pain?”
“Man pain is when you do something stupid.”
“You know, Norm, you’ve been coming in here a long time.”