Remember to breathe…

This weekends been a quiet one despite actually doing quite a bit.

Friday night was a QNI as far as I can remember…I think we watched Batman on DVD but that might have been one night during the week.

Saturday was meant to be spent finishing off tidying Vonnie flat as Lizzie was coming round that night for a bite to eat and to see the flat before we headed off to meet Finn’s dad, Alan, and going to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at the IMAX. Turns out Lizzy had called it off so we had a day to arse about. Idragged Findlay into the city centre so I could get a buss pass and get him a policemans outfit…I hate noisy toys…im stupid…which he loved.

I’d never been tothe IMAX before…I was expecting somethign huge but from the outside it actually looks kind of tiny and a bit of a let down. We’d been in a bit of a rush to get there becuase Finn wasnt feeling very well and Vonnie thought there would be trialers or adverts beforehand…there wasnt. So we wandered in about 5 mins into the film just as Charlies Grandpa was telling his story about working there before all the Oompa-Loompa’s took over. As they dont assign seats the way normal cinemas do they just fill it up from the back to the front…We ended up on the 2nd front row. I dont think ive been in a cinema where ive had to move my head to see either side of the screen before and because we were constantly having to look up at the screen our necks were killing us. The film was good though and some of the scenesreally did make the IMAX a good choice in viewing it at. The scene on the boat was probably the best for it. Wasn’t impressed with the Oompa-loompas though. I liked what they were trying to do but the CGI was almost useless…I could probably do better myself…to rough around the edges.And whatthe hell were The Darkness doing in the film? :p

Surprisingly everything seemed to go OK and there wasnt really any weirdness between Alan, Vonnie or myself. Quite an achievement considering its the first time we’ve socialised together other than at the flats doorway when Alan comes to collect Finn.

Sunday was supposed to be a trip to Deep Sea World followed a night out to the End Of The Month club…We went through to DSW alright but we never made it back to Glasgow in time for the EotMC.

A grey day in Glasgow turned into a scorching day on the east coast so Vonnie’s moonboots had to go and Finn’s chunky jumper had to come off. a lot of folk say that DSW is expensive and you can go round it in 20 minutes…and you can if you rush round. I really enjoyed it. It’s not worth the cash but at least you can see where the money goes which is something that you dont get in a lot of places as the bosses bank account is usually well hidden on some Carribean island. Some of the tanks were fantastic and the I have to agree with Vonnie that you could spend hours just standing watching the seals swimming and playing.

As for the the main attraction of the place…the sharks. I have three main phobias in life. One is sharks, the other is small places and the last one is spiders. I can sort of deal with spiders after having to deal with the smaller ones for so long but dont expect me to stay in the same room as a big bastard for any longer than I need to. The underwater tunnel, which btw is the longest in the world so they proudly tell you, was probably what you could call “Bob’s Hell on a Travelator”. Everything in the tunnel was dark apart from the lights along the ground…the rest of the light came from the pool itself. I could just about deal with the fish. I was quite uncomfortable with the tunnel but as you couldnt really look sideways throught he acrylic it was that thick you were stuck staring at a small spot in front of you…if was like a strange tank rather than a tunnel. Then everyone would point and you’d see there heads go up and turn as something went over your head…so you look…and theres a bloody great shark less than a foot above you. I say “bloody great shark”…what I mean to say is a 5-6′ shark swam above my head. I started to sweat and really didnt like that place. Vonnie thought I was putting it on a bit so tried to have a laugh with me…then she realised I wasnt putting it on. Now to go throughthe tunnel you don’t just walk…you get on a moving floor just like the ones at the baggage reclaim in the airports…with all the squeaking and squaking that goes along with them and it must have a maximum speed of about 0.003mph. We hadn’t seen feeding time which was one of the main attractions so I though “I’ve made it round once..i can make it round againto see the fish getting fed”. When we got back round we seen the divers and I remembered what the girl had said about the ‘glass’ making everything seem to be 1/3rd smaller than it actually was. The guy looked like an Oompa-loopa! Then she mentioned in passing thatthe big 6′ shark we’d seen was actually about 9′ long! Fuck! That!

We soon got out of there and cooled down in the cafe before heading over to South Queensferry for some fresh air before ehading back to drop of Vonnie’s Dad and Leslie. This is where Vonnie fell asleep on their couch and we ended up staying for dinner. Vonnie’s dad makes a damn fine curry despite not knowing exactly what its meant to be…I thought it was very like a madras at first but then he added coconut milk to it to calm it down a little so I’ve no idea what it ended up being. Went home and fell asleep after a little bit of knackering my brain out with some golf on my phone.

Today’s tasks include loads of crap at work and going to see a mortgage adviser at lunchtme to see if theres anyway I can get a mortgage. The flats went up a wee bit in value so hopelfully it will be enough but we’ll see.

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  1. mark [Visitor] says:

    My boss did the diving with sharks as a birthday gift, said it was bloddy brilliant.

    Still not quite my sort of thing ….

  2. Bobzilla [Member] says:

    I’ll say it again…
    Fuck! That!

    Although I did think it might be a good idea for a stag present for Wilbur ;)

  3. mark [Visitor] says:

    Put wilbur in a wet suit, add some blood, and it’d be like pepperami for sharks

  4. Vonnie [Member] says:


  5. Scapey [Visitor] says:

    I was terrified of the Rays they used to have in a big round pool with a bridge over the middle, when I was 4…

  6. Bobzilla [Member] says:

    was that not the one at St Andrews that had that? The one at N Queensferry hasnt been open that long surely?

  7. Laura [Visitor] says:

    After reading this I had a nightmare last night which involved me being parachuted into and ocean with sharks. One of the bit my foot!!!!

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