Thanks to a couple of things getting to me. I know both of them will work out in the end but right now they are getting to me that much that they’ve pulled almost all the enjoyment out of my life at the moment. As mark mentioned the other day…apathy has set it.
I want to be enjoying myself with those that I love, I want to be able to sit down and play a computer game when I want or surf the net, I want to be able to go airsofting when I can and play wargames and paint minatures in any spare moment I have. Most of these things are few and far between at the moment and probably will be for the foreseeable future. But right this second I just can’t be arsed doing any of them. It feels like to much of an effort to do much more than survive at times and thats no way to be feeling at my age…especially when I have a woman I love and a kid on the way.
I think most of it is just the fact ive not had a decent sleep in a few months and its grinding me down. Soon enough though it will get to the tough metal interior and grind away at that. The only problem then is the fact that when you grind metal it shines…totally against the feel of it