I’ve felt a bit out of it this last week. It’s not so much Erica arriving but more that I’ve not been at work since a week past wednesday and to be honest all we’ve really done is recieve visitors, veg in front of the TV/laptop watching West Wing or some other US TV show or sleep. I had many plans for my time off that included sorting out Erica’s room now that we had found homes for all the Kittens that were going, sorting out the livingroom and the garden and with a bit of luck finishing off tidying the bedrooms and making a start on decorating them. So far we’ve managed to tidy the living room a few times.

I feel at times as though I’m letting Vonnie down by not getting the things done. I can’t really blame it on lack of sleep as to be honest since Erica’s arrival I’m actually sleeping better as when I’m bnot awake with her feeding I’m actually getting quality sleep rather than tossing and turning every five minutes. I know that physically I’m knackered so it’s understandable that I’m not getting it all done but I’d like to think I at least got something accomplished while I’ve been off other than making sure Vonnie gets through the first two weeks without doing herself an injury running after the kids.

So tonight I sent Vonnie to bed to try and get through her toothache with some heavy duty painkillers. I’ve kept Erica in her moses basket in the living room where some deity was shining down on me and she slept all night and will probably wake up soon for her last feed of the day. This has meant that I could throw on Henry Rollins Shock and Awe DVD on teh laptop in the kitchen and get some stuff done in there. Managed through most of the dishes although theres a few bits and pieces I’m leaving until the morning, repotted all the seedlings we had into larger pots and managed to find space for them in the kitchen. Rearranged the top of the freezer and sorted out a few completely filled cupboards and drawers. Yes its boring I know but it makes a hell of a difference to my life now I can get to alot of things. :p

With a bit of luck I’ll finish off what I started tomorrow and if the weather holds I’ll get the grass and hedges cut tomorrow. My god I’m getting domesticated :(

Got talking to my brother earlier tonight and he’s got me thinking. Doing HR admin for the goverment was never where I seen myself when I left school. To be honest if I’d got my degree or HND that I went for I wouldnt be doing a job I’d enjoy either. The arty side of designing websites I really enjoy but can never put enough time or effort into anything I touch to make it great. Photography and such things always struck a bell with me but I neverfollowed them up but now I’m at a stage in my life where I don’t think I could feasibly jump ship and try and find something I enjoy even if I wasn’t very good at it or needed qualifications to get into. I have responsibilities now that I never dreamed of having anytime soon several years ago, and wouldn’t change that for a second, but I can see the employment rut forming ahead of me and I don’t know if I should be trading in my scooter for a 4×4 so that I ride out the rut and come out better off on the other side or take the next side track and see where that takes me.

Ach forgive me, I’m at the stage now where I’m too tired to sleep but I’ve got enough caffiene in me to ramble. *shakes fist at the 2L bottle of Irn Bru*

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