This web page popped up on my screen and I immediately thought of Mr Barry O’Bain.

I have no idea why.

Every day goes by and Nairn becomes more of a little person rather than a baby. The expressions he comes away with and the noises he makes have you constantly wondering if the scientists have got it wrong and they are actually capable of such things. The creators of Family Guy got it spot on with Stewie…theyre plotting something!

He’s piled on the weight despite our initial fears that he was bringing everything he was drinking back up and seems to be a very healthy ‘wee’ baby indeed.

He really does need to get into teh hang of sleeping at night as soundly as he does during the day though. We tried to put him down last night when we went to bed and he was wide awake. I ended up getting back up and it was about 1am before I got him asleep enough to try and get him back in his crib… and the wee bugger woke back up as soon as I put him down. He then proceeded to keep Vonnie awake all night so she’ll be dead on her feet when she gets home from edinburgh tonight.

This is going to be a long one. If your going to sit and read this I’d advise a cup of tea and a biscuit ready beforehand

So Saturday came and nothing had happened more than a few practise contractions over the last week. He just wasn’t for coming out to meet everyone. We were planning on heading into town to go to Lava with Finn before dropping him of at Alan’s parents and then getting Vonnie checked into the hosptial. Unfortunately we struggled to get to Glasgow on time so ended up just dropping Finn off then bolting to the Southern General.

Once we got Vonnie checked in we then found out exactly how long they’d expect her to be there for. Even if the drugs they gave her that day worked well enough they wouldnt break her waters until Sunday morning at the earliest and more likely sunday afternoon. Jen came up for a bit during the evening visiting and at 8pm we were both chucked out and JEn gave me a lift up the road.

Leaving Vonnie in there meant I couldn’t sleep, I was fretting and the bed was too cold. Ended up not getting to sleep until 2am and was up by 5.30am pacing the flat. Left there about 7.30 and got the bus into town (after missing about 4-5 buses because I was walking between bustops when the timetable said there wasnt supposed to be any due!)and got th first underground train round to Govan. I’d checked the maps twice and had a rough idea where I was supposed to go but when I got out the station I ended up having to use the sun to tell me which direction west :S The place was dead and the only person I could find at that time on a sunday morning to ask directions didnt speak a word of english! Eventually found the ward though.

We were due to go down to the labour ward at about 2pm for Vonnie to get her waters broke but I think it was nearer 3.30 before they actually did that. Vonnie being Vonnie with her fear of needles though either didnt pickup the fact she’d need a drip during the induction or none of the midwifes explained it at all (the more I think about it the more I knew it was the later) so she really wasnt keen on it all but after a wee while she talked herself into it and she was away. After she had her waters broke we stuck Vonnie in a bath for a while and the contractions started. Once they got to the point of being painful though we then got her back through into her room and got the gas and air onthe go just in time to get the drug that really brings on the contractions pumped into her system. The midwife came up with the brilliant idea of giving her the epidural before the inducing drug rather than have to wait 30-45 mins for someone that was free to do it once she was really really in pain. By this point she was struggling on the gas and air and it was really the only viable option.

So the epidural kicked in and the the inducing drug was given and everything started to kick off nicely. I think it was round about then that we noticed it as the back of 8! The section stage of labour started and Vonnie started struggling again but was getting by on the gas and air as well at that point. I ended up having to hold the baby heart monitor thingie onto Vonnie’s belly because the position she was in and the head was so low it kept falling off or losing the heartbeat.

Then at about 9.30 the midwife let Vonnie push and in about 3 pushes Nairn was born at 9.42 I think. Though everywhere I look it seems to vary between 9.40 and 9.50 :S

The midwife when we first met her didn’t seem to be one we’d get along with. What we didnt realise at that point was just how busy the labour ward was at that point. By the end of the night I don’t think we could have got a better midwife. She got Vonnie through hell with a smile

So we’re talking days rather than weeks and months now.

I keep getting asked if i’m getting stressed out yet or wether im excited or whatever. I’m not stressed out by the thought of becoming a dad, probably alot to do with having Finn about I suppose. I’m more stressed out about the thought of not being able to provide a good enough life because we’ve not got enough cash but Vonnie keeps reminding me that we do. I just worry about money way to much

I do know I’ll be running around like a headless chicken come the time though. Until someone says “Hi I’m such n such the consultant” I wont know where I am and what im doing never mind looking after Vonnie. I’m sure thats what’ll happen despite knowing I wont be anything like that. I’m just worried about how I’ll take Vonnie being in pain. I’m bad enough with the kicks and practice contractions. I’ve said “Are you ok?” often enough that Vonnie must be going crazy every time she hears it.

Added to this we still cant agree on a name. We find one we both like than we’ll come up with a reason why we dont a couple of weeks down the line. We’ll come up with a suitable name when we need it though

So we went to the hospital today for the final check expecting to find thatth baby still hadn’t turned and that Vonnie would need a C-Section. Not only had she talked herself round into being OK with this she’s also at the stage where she really doesnt want to be pregnant anymore and in actual fact a C-Section would have been great news.

Un/Fortunately the baby HAS turned so that might explain why Vonnies been so uncomfortable this last week and it wll mean a normal birth. So much for getting a date in advance and being able to prepare fully for it

Needless to say Vonnie’s raging at probably having to carry the baby for another couple of weeks but thats life as they say. Just means I’ve got a couple more weeks of half decent sleep that I thought I had and Vonnie gets a few more weeks of being run after before I need to split my time between her and the baby

Over the last few months myself and Vonnie have had ‘disagreements’ over a name for the baby. I cant stand almost anything she comes up with and likewise with anything I come up with. The funny thing is we had a name sorted for if it was going to be a girl.

The closest we came to a boys name just didnt seem to fit right. We had a (very) short list and none of them rolled off the tongue right or they just threw mental images into my head that made me really not want to name any child of mine with any of the names.

Then Vonnie mentioned a name that she liked. I liked it as well but it didnt hit me straight away but I’m growing to really like it now.

I’d always said to myself that I wanted to hold the baby in my arms before finding a name that fits them but I think we may have found a winner…

It’s slowly sinking in that I’m going to be a father.

It’s one thing to see a normal scan photo and say, “that makes it all the more real” or something like that but after seeing the scan the other night all I keep thinking is “Wow!”

Its not a ghostly outline on a black and white scan photo anymore. I know what its face looks like and what it looks like when it smacks its lips or bites its fist.

Its a baby…just needs a bit more time for its crust to brown a little before coming out of the oven.

Not about the fact that I’m going to be a dad…

I’ve long had a rather severe phobia of things living inside me. I can watch Aliens because it seems comical but I’ll be buggered if I can watch the original. The photos that folk photoshop with lotus pods REALLY turn my stomach and I can’t watch or read anything that talks about tapewords. Even just typing about this is causing me to feel extremely nausious.

So why is it when I feel or see the baby moving in Vonnies tummy that it doesnt worry me at all? I don’t think its anything to do with the whole ‘its natural’ or anything like that. I’m really curious as to how it feels. Vonnie is constantly going on about how the baby is sitting or how its moving and it doesnt phase me at all. I even managed to look at one of those photoshoped lotus pod things today without wretching…still felt ill though.

It’s all very weird.

Interesting fact for the day. If something were to happen and Vonnie had to deliver today to baby would have a good chance of surviving. The fact that I’m not cracking up by that thought pleases me
*not that something bad might happen but that being a dad could happen anytime and I actually dont think i’ll miss a step going from no child to child…I suppose Finn’s helped alot in that. I’m a parent to him virtually *

This morning started out good and ended being not so good. Vonnie was bleeding this mornign and after a call to the midwife we ended up spending 3 hours at the Southern General before being told she’s OK and to go home. We were shocked to start with and I think we’re still sort of getting unshocked to be honest.

I’ve been meaning to start this kind of post for a while but its only as we start to get damn close that I’m starting to realise just whats going on and what its going to mean.

By that I dont mean I didnt have a clue about what was going to happen or the changes that were goign to occur. I mean that I didnt quite know how it would effect me as a person…in my head.

Folk are constantly saying I’ll be a great dad but I always find myself saying, “Will I? How do you know?”
Yeah I get on great with Finn but he’s of the age and size that I’m not going to hurt him that much if I drop him or I can have a laugh with him. But a baby? I’m too scared to hold the remote for a TV sometimes never mind a baby I’m that clumsy. Do I really have what it takes?.

Anyway…as the last 3 months comes into view and my brain slowly cracks I’ll be sure to document it in here…even if its only to look back on in the years to come