Originally published at The Apochrypha. Please leave any comments there.

We were very close to not going on this holiday. Between the stresses of the house and straining bank accounts from Christmas and the upcoming wedding it was a close run thing.

Thursday
I’d managed to get a half day to help finish the packing as we’d only finally decided to go that morning. Once Finn got home from school we headed straight to the airport. I’d never flown from Prestwick before and to be honest its certainly not my favorite airport in the world. Largely forgettable and the closest I’ve ever gotten to finding an airport that looks like the one I flew out of Moscow from. It is a barn. Anyway on the way there the wind and rain were terrible and we actually thought we’d either be delayed for hours while it calmed down or the flight would be canceled. In the end though it went ahead but the turbulence was horrendous and the landing was the worst I’d ever experienced.

Yet again I was using an airport I’ve never been in before. I usually fly into Heathrow and get the Heathrow Express right into Paddington so I know my way about the Circle Line and getting to and from Victoria. Getting the train from Stanstead to Liverpool Street totally threw my bearings. Thankfully where we were going was on the Central Line anyway so it was actually quite simple. Kirsty’s brother Simon was kind enough to let us stay at his flat while he was in Barcalona for the weekend so financially we could actually enjoy ourselves. Simon met us at the station and led us round to his flat we’re we took over his bedroom. Both Nairn and Erica were beyond tired though and so screamed for at least an hour. It couldn’t have been good for Simon or his flatmate but at least they were in a different room.

Friday
We hadn’t actually worked out what we were going to do during the weekend other than to say what we’d like to do in general. We got up that morning though and decided to hit Hamleys first and start off as we meant to finish and let the kids enjoy this weekend as much as we hoped to. We managed to navigate from the flat to Leytonstone Tube Station very easily which was actually a sign of things to come. Being fifteen minutes by train outside of the centre of London sounds great until you realise that it can take another 30 minutes at least to get from one side of the centre to the other and even more if it involves changing trains. Anyway we got off at Oxford Circus and sauntered round to Hamleys. It was mobbed. We managed around the top 3 floors but had to leave after Findlay spent a while playing with a remote control car and bike. It was just to claustrophobic but the boys were loving it though.

We then headed down the Victoria Line and got off at Victoria Street Station to head up past my work and onto Buckingham Palace. I took everyone along Victoria Street until we found Westminster Cathedral. WE wandered around there for a wee while before I dragged them up Palace Street past my work whilst confusing my mate who was in the office by asking him where I could get a bottle of juice from. Buckingham Palace isn’t really much to see. Unless you catch the changing of the guard I can’t quite work out why such large crowds would come and see it. Anyway we walked up past a park and down to the riverside. I’ve seen the London Eye from a distance before but even although its ‘only’ 135m high you just don’t quite get how high it is until your standing underneath it. We’d had a choice to make earlier about whether to go up during the day or go up after the sun had set. Thankfully we went up when it was dark and the whole of London was lit up. It made it look more like a toy town from the very top than the grey mass it really is that you see during the day. We managed to get back to the flat for about 8pm going past Tesco on the way. There is a Christian charity shop on Leytonstone High Road that has some of the most amazing furniture and we clocked this amazing dolls house in the window but on closer inspection it was actually a birdcage!

Saturday
It rained. And rained. And rained. It was also bloody freezing. Did I mention it was a bit wet? I don’t know wether it was stupidity or sheer brilliance but we headed to Camden Market that morning. I really must look more into the tube stations though before we do things like that. Trying to carry an occupied pram up and down the 96 step ‘emergency’ stairwell because its the only way in and out is just sheer lunacy at the best of times but when you’ve got a train full of folk around you as well it just gets silly. We made it though. And this is where we discover the one thing that annoys the hell out of me about London. Unless your at a huge supermarket or a tube station there are no speed bank machines anywhere! We walked the full length of Camden looking for one until we hit Morrisons and ended up in there for a cup of hot chocolate. Thankfully the boost of heat brightened up our day so we went back around the markets for another look. Vonnie was a bit disappointed that we only spied one ‘fake’ celebrity in the form of Peaches Geldof but in a town of 5 million people what are your chances? We came to the conclusion that we could actually live in Camden but I can’t stand the commuting

After that we headed over to Covent Garden for some more markets and shops. It looked lovely but my god you get some amount of pretentious folk down there. I was also in what has to be the worst laid out shop on the planet. Lush in Covent Garden really needs some traffic lights and a one way system put in. I’m not joking when I say there is barely enough room for one person to move in an aisle never mind a shop full with bags of shopping!

We finished the night off with the Transport Museum. I didn’t think it was as good as the one in Glasgow but then it only deals with London transport rather than any and all forms. No row upon row of old cars but plenty of buses and trains. The kids loved it though which it why we were there.

Sunday
We were up early so that we could meet Despina and her family for a jaunt around the Science Museum. Lovely people and Findlay got on great with Josh. I don’t know how we managed it but we managed to spend about 5-6 hours in there and it flew past! Nairn did a bunk at one point though from one of the kids areas and almost made it to the lifts but we caught him just in time. On the way out we were surprised to find a piper so Vonnie had to get him playing Flower of Scotland and Scotland the Brave! We went for dinner in a wee Italian restaurant around the corner which was nice. The pasta was a bit weird but still nice despite that. I don’t actually remember much after that as I think I dozed off on the tube back to Leytonstone.

Monday
How there wasn’t any bloodshed I really do not know. We headed back round to Hamley’s to pick up a few things and then jumped the train back out to Stanstead. We decided that rather than rushing about with the kids and possibly being late for the flights we’d get there early and try and relax. Between all the carrying of prams, bags and very little sleep from the night before I was a walking wreck and how Vonnie didn’t snap and stab me at several points I really do not know. Anyway we made it onto the plane only for Erica to scream the entire flight and Nairn to act up. If he wasn’t headbutting Findlay for his toys he was trying to open the lifejackets under the seats. We did win a free flight out of it though so its not all bad. We will be using that for a night/weekend away for us and ntothe kids though as I don’t think we could handle that again until the kids are a wee bit older.

No tag for this post.

Tags: bank, Buckingham Palace, Camden, christmas, Covent Garden, Glasgow, Italian restaurant, Leytonstone High Road, Leytonstone Tube Station, Liverpool Street, London, Moscow, Palace Street, remote control car, Science Museum, Scotland, Simon, speed bank machines, Tesco, Transport Museum, Victoria Street, Victoria Street Station, Westminster Cathedral

Originally published at The Apochrypha. Please leave any comments there.

I have a new pet hate. Bank machines that are not the real full size bank machines that you’d need forklift truck to move. You know the kind. The ones that prop up the end of the bar and cost

Tags: bank, real full size bank

Originally published at The Apochrypha. Please leave any comments there.

I think I’m going to have to go on a killing spree and eat alot of folks brains. It’s the only way I can think of that might solve my memory problem.

I managed to leave the house today completely forgetting my lunch. Normally this wouldnt be to bad as I could nip to the bank or lidls for something but as I’m trying not to be skint I had no cash on me. I did manage to get enough money to sort out some noodles from Lidl’s though so I havent starved which considering how bad my memory has been this last while is a shock.

I really need to sort it out. Apparently omega 3 or lots of sleep improves it but considering the child situation I reckon I’ll be buying some shares in Seven Seas in an effort to get this sorted.

On a brighter note I did manage to gut the hall last night. Still a few things there that shouldnt be but its getting there.

No tag for this post.

Tags: bank, Seven Seas

We had the house in an alright state at the tail end of last week and with all the rushing about and the eventual canceling of trip to Anstruther its ended up being worse than it was to start with. The good thing is that the bedrooms are sorted out furniture-wise so its just a case of sorting out the clothes and making sure the toys are put away in the right places in the boys room. Talking about the boys room Nairn is loving the extra freedom he has now we’ve got a gate over their bedroom door. The only problem is leave him there for 10 minutes to his own devices and its like Godzilla just waded though Tokyo. Its a never ending mess. Even if we tidy it once Nairn’s in bed asleep by the time we wake up in the morning or we realise he is awake the bedroom’s in that same state again.

On Monday we headed down to the Clyde Valley for a drive with the hope of getting a few photo’s and some icecream at the end of the drive. We ended up in Valley International park which seemed to be half shut for some reason. It was really quiet despite being in the middle of the fair fortnight and the birds of prey area was shut. Vonnie found a lab breeder selling puppies and has upped her attempts to talk me round. We did manage to go on the narrow-guage train however.

Yesterday was a trip to Edinburgh Zoo. It didn’t start to well when we were delayed in getting out the front door and forgot a few things. With Erica’s constant crying, Nairn’s constant desire to explore and Findlay’s never ending energy and bouncyness wits ends were reached before we got passed the entrance. Eventually we all calmed down though so we managed to make it around the zoo before heading home completely knackered. I really want to go back once I get a decent long lens for the camera and hopefully once the babies are a bit older and are not quite a handful as they are at the moment. Managed to get a couple od decent pics though

Today we done some financial dealings with the bank and I went to work in my back garden with a mattock. I demolished about 6 trees but the last one before I get to the huge flower bushes is going to be the one that determines wether I’m a man or a boy. The roots on it are huge and theres thousands of them!

Tags: bank, Clyde Valley, Edinburgh Zoo, never ending energy, Tokyo, Valley International park

Todays been all go and I dont like it, not one bit.

Managed to get alot done today but not really what I was hoping to do and now im physically and mentally shattered. Hopefully I’ll be finishing work within the next hour as I need to go sort some stuff out at the bank before heading up the road. With a bit of luck the fresh air will wake me up

Tags: bank

Apologies dear readers for the lack of updates recently. Yes I’ve got net access and my own PC back but I’m either sleeping, unpacking, tidying up, or playing pirates. Not much free time to do much else although in saying that i’m getting to the stage with pirates where i’m getting a bit bored with it so I’ll probably have some free time soon enough to unpack more stuff!

So yeah…catch up time.

Went round to Dave Hogg’s flat on friday night after being kicked out by Vonnie so I can see my mates. Headed orund there with Mark who had to wait for me downstairs as they’ve installed the secure entry system finally but we dont have a phone yet to let anyone in yet! Seems it was supposed to be ‘live’ already but after locking myself out last night taking the bin out it seems the front door is still open at the moment so for anyone heading round to the flat go to the door you guys dont usually come through.

Saturday we were supposed to finish of moving the gear from the flat in Govanhill up to EK. Last time we looked there was maybe 2 car loads but it turned out to be slightly more than that but I’ll get to that in a minute. The plans ended up being something like this…I was getting dropped off at the flat to sort everything out whilst Vonnie took Finn to his mates birthday party. They would return with the van and we’d pick it up in one trip and then head to Glasgow Green to see the fireworks for bonfire night.

Iit didnt work out like that…

First off we had lost the invite for Finn’s party so we were struggling to find out where he was supposed to be but thankfully after gutting the car we found it. Then we left the van key in EK so Vonnie had to fight traffic to get to the govanhill flat to let me know she was heading up to get the key. She was stressed out by alot of stuff such as screaming kids at the party and deadly traffic only for her to arrive at teh flat and see the mountain of stuff I’d got ready to move. We knew the cupboard had to be emptied but what we didnt realise was that was full. And by full I mean 7′ tall by 6′ deep by 4 foor wide. The bedroom ended up holding approx half a van load rather than ‘a few boxes’. This done it for Vonnie who almost cracked up on the spot. Bonfire night for Vonnie is like her birthday, christmas and new year all rolled into one so the prospect of sitting in the back of the van whilst I loaded up up all night really didnt appeal to her but she went to get the van key anyway. Vonnie got to EK only to realise I hadn’t gave her the flat key so ended up at her mum’s where she was going to kill something. Mark….thanks for sticking about in case we needed your help when we got to EK.

We’d been spending all day running the car on fumes so there was hopefully enough to get Vonnie to EK were she could get my bank card (which id also forgot) and stick some in. When I hadnt heard form her in ages I started to get worried that the car had ran out somewhere and she was stuck but I eventually got a txt from her letting me know what was going on. We were giving up for the night and coming back the next morning with her family to get it over and done with.

We picked up Finn’s dad and made it to the fireworks just in time for it to start only to find out they had been delayed a wee bit. Met Ryan and a few others so we had a bit of a laugh which I was most grateful for. It was the first time I’d seen Vonnie smile or relax all day. The actual fireworks were a bit of a let down…the Viking Festival ones were better though there were far more actual fireworks on Saturday night.

Yesterday we managed to clear the flat in Govanhill in 25 mins and have it all up in the EK flat with an hour or two. That’s 99% of everything done now. Just leaves my airsoft stuff and Finn’s bike at my parents to get I think. It also means that as there was so much stuff to lift on sunday that any headway I’d made in clearing the flat and unpacking has been wiped out and we’re now buried further than before. Mind you the kitchen seems to be 90% done as regards unpacking and Finn’s room had more work done on it today to make room for his stuff.

Now I’m going to die as I’ve done my back in lifting the spare tiles for the damn bathroom floor. Why didnt I bin them last time I went near them?

Tags: bank, christmas, Dave Hogg, Finn's party, New Year's Day, Viking Festival

Joe was meant to cover the left flank of the building. In fact he was supposed to be calling the shots on the attack but so far there wasn’t any sign of him.

We’d been waiting for 10 minutes, holed up on the other side of the old stone railway bridge, which was a whole 5 minutes longer than we were suppose to. Our job to pick of any trouble makers that tried to exfil across the bridge once the attack started. I was set up fine, great view across the bridge and i was dug in behind a long mound of earth in amongst the trees, and Cammie had a nice wee perch off to my left with his G-Spec sitting pretty taking in all the movement around the house.

What the fuck was going on? I could just make out the other guys sneaking in along the right flank. They’d have to get in really close to guarentee the hit’s we needed to take them down quickly but they seemed to hesitating as they came along the banks of the railway cutting. I quickly realised why when Cammie threw me spotting scope. The bastards had set up differently! Everytime we’ve sat in an OP watching this place they’ve set up exactly the same, a couple of guys in the front room looking out over the bridge with another couple looking out through the window and whats left of the doorway onto the left flank. Theyd usually have a couple of men either out in the open on the right or dug in just on the lip of the berm out on the right. Our guys had reached there and found noone, not even one of their new boys.

Cammie pointed to the left of the house and raised 4 fingers. Looking through his scope I could make out the two guards we were expecting to be covering the doorway had came forward a bit and were dig in behind a few trees. Nothing that that would stop us, in fact with them out of the buidling on the opposite side from our main force it might even be to our advantage. I still couldnt see the other two Cammie had spotted. He pointed over to where I was expecting to see Joe. There were two figures crawling through the grass. Had they taken him out? Had they even seen him? They were very close to the bank. We were told to maintain radio silence, thatthe first sign of the attack going in would either be Joe letting rip once he’d reached a safe bit of ground to set up on or from his flashbang grenade going off in the front room. If there was any contact with the enemy we were to resort to the age old plan of shoot any bastard we could see moving and keep shooting until we were sure they wouldnt move again. I had no way of telling the our guys coming in on the right what was going on but as 2nd in command I had to do something.

Cammie took 3 shots from his G-Spec. Each shot taking what seemed like an eternity. All it would take is one guy to notice where the fire was coming from and we’d be on the recieving end of 12 assault rifles with full clips. Both figures stopped moving. Had we got them? Did they survive and was one of them radioing back to the house that they’d just taken fire? Have I just fucked up?

Just as I was about to tell Cammie to call the targets for Bravo squad to get this started a bunch of the bad guys came from the path behind us and walked right past us. They must have been no more than 4 metres away from us! They just wandered up to the start of the bridge when I realised theyd have a perfect view of Bravo squad crawling along the bank. I emptied my clip into thier back just as they stepped out into the open scoring hits on all of them. I could make out a couple of them them trying to call for a medic but you could barely hear them over the roar that kicked off within seconds of my trigger pull. Very heavy fire was coming in on our position from the building, every shot making sure we kept our heads down. Bravo squad took this as the time to resort to plan B and hit them hard. Or at least they tried to. The undergrowth to the left of the building came to life as several men appeared as if from nowhere mowing down anyone that dared to stand in their line of fire.

Tags: bank

A few updates I think rather than one large one like last time…that was just to much to read!

I cant really remember what ive got up to over the weekend as such. I seem to recall getting a curry on thursday night? It was delicious whenever it was. Chicken Tikka Chazni with boiled rice and a naan from Desi’s on Allison Street. Fantastic.

Friday night we sat and done nothing I think. We watched Still Game when it came on but that was about the only highlight of night and that wasn’t even that funny. It was as if they’d wrote the part in a hurry to fit Robbie Coltrane into it and couldnt be arsed.

On Saturday I took Finn into town to spend his pocket money while I picked up Stoo’s birthday present and renewed my bus pass…guess what I forgot to bring with me. Got half way up Buchanan Street only to realise I didnt have the pass with me!
Headed into Forbidden Planet to try and get ideas for Stoo’s present but barely seen anything of interest. Finn on the otherhand couldn’t stop his jaw from dropping.
“BATMAN!”
I wasn’t about to let him get anythign from in there as the price was stupid but as we were going to A1 anyway I thought we’d see what he thought in there. He seen a remote control Batmobile but it was way to expensive for his bank balance but he almost had another fit when he seen 3 lifesize batmen in teh window and behind the counter. So he got a batman figure while I picked up Stoo’s Halo2 *spit* present.

Sunday I headed back into town to get the bus pass, which I remembered this time, and picked up a few things from Lush for Vonnie and season three of Still Game which we then spent all afternoon and evening watching. We were going to go to asda after that and get grub for lunches during the week and I was starving so was wanting to get somethign for supper while I was there. 9pm came and Vonnie said she was away for a quick shower…20 mins later I realised I couldnt hear the shower over the washing machine I went to find out if she was OK. Shes been known to have to sit down after feeling light headed and I was a bit worried. I found her having a bath and when I said “I thought you were gong for a quick shower?” she replied “It’s…eh…broke…” An hour later I went back in to say I was starving and was going to the shops for grub and did she want any only to be told she be out in a minute…we got to Asda at the back of 11 and I didnt get to eat anything until we got back to the flat at around midnight…the worst thing being the shelves were empty and there was bugger all I wanted. What i did buy was crap

Tags: Alison Street, bank, Buchanan Street, Forbidden Planet, Robbie Coltrane, Stoo

This weekends been a quiet one despite actually doing quite a bit.

Friday night was a QNI as far as I can remember…I think we watched Batman on DVD but that might have been one night during the week.

Saturday was meant to be spent finishing off tidying Vonnie flat as Lizzie was coming round that night for a bite to eat and to see the flat before we headed off to meet Finn’s dad, Alan, and going to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at the IMAX. Turns out Lizzy had called it off so we had a day to arse about. Idragged Findlay into the city centre so I could get a buss pass and get him a policemans outfit…I hate noisy toys…im stupid…which he loved.

I’d never been tothe IMAX before…I was expecting somethign huge but from the outside it actually looks kind of tiny and a bit of a let down. We’d been in a bit of a rush to get there becuase Finn wasnt feeling very well and Vonnie thought there would be trialers or adverts beforehand…there wasnt. So we wandered in about 5 mins into the film just as Charlies Grandpa was telling his story about working there before all the Oompa-Loompa’s took over. As they dont assign seats the way normal cinemas do they just fill it up from the back to the front…We ended up on the 2nd front row. I dont think ive been in a cinema where ive had to move my head to see either side of the screen before and because we were constantly having to look up at the screen our necks were killing us. The film was good though and some of the scenesreally did make the IMAX a good choice in viewing it at. The scene on the boat was probably the best for it. Wasn’t impressed with the Oompa-loompas though. I liked what they were trying to do but the CGI was almost useless…I could probably do better myself…to rough around the edges.And whatthe hell were The Darkness doing in the film?

Surprisingly everything seemed to go OK and there wasnt really any weirdness between Alan, Vonnie or myself. Quite an achievement considering its the first time we’ve socialised together other than at the flats doorway when Alan comes to collect Finn.

Sunday was supposed to be a trip to Deep Sea World followed a night out to the End Of The Month club…We went through to DSW alright but we never made it back to Glasgow in time for the EotMC.

A grey day in Glasgow turned into a scorching day on the east coast so Vonnie’s moonboots had to go and Finn’s chunky jumper had to come off. a lot of folk say that DSW is expensive and you can go round it in 20 minutes…and you can if you rush round. I really enjoyed it. It’s not worth the cash but at least you can see where the money goes which is something that you dont get in a lot of places as the bosses bank account is usually well hidden on some Carribean island. Some of the tanks were fantastic and the I have to agree with Vonnie that you could spend hours just standing watching the seals swimming and playing.

As for the the main attraction of the place…the sharks. I have three main phobias in life. One is sharks, the other is small places and the last one is spiders. I can sort of deal with spiders after having to deal with the smaller ones for so long but dont expect me to stay in the same room as a big bastard for any longer than I need to. The underwater tunnel, which btw is the longest in the world so they proudly tell you, was probably what you could call “Bob’s Hell on a Travelator”. Everything in the tunnel was dark apart from the lights along the ground…the rest of the light came from the pool itself. I could just about deal with the fish. I was quite uncomfortable with the tunnel but as you couldnt really look sideways throught he acrylic it was that thick you were stuck staring at a small spot in front of you…if was like a strange tank rather than a tunnel. Then everyone would point and you’d see there heads go up and turn as something went over your head…so you look…and theres a bloody great shark less than a foot above you. I say “bloody great shark”…what I mean to say is a 5-6′ shark swam above my head. I started to sweat and really didnt like that place. Vonnie thought I was putting it on a bit so tried to have a laugh with me…then she realised I wasnt putting it on. Now to go throughthe tunnel you don’t just walk…you get on a moving floor just like the ones at the baggage reclaim in the airports…with all the squeaking and squaking that goes along with them and it must have a maximum speed of about 0.003mph. We hadn’t seen feeding time which was one of the main attractions so I though “I’ve made it round once..i can make it round againto see the fish getting fed”. When we got back round we seen the divers and I remembered what the girl had said about the ‘glass’ making everything seem to be 1/3rd smaller than it actually was. The guy looked like an Oompa-loopa! Then she mentioned in passing thatthe big 6′ shark we’d seen was actually about 9′ long! Fuck! That!

We soon got out of there and cooled down in the cafe before heading over to South Queensferry for some fresh air before ehading back to drop of Vonnie’s Dad and Leslie. This is where Vonnie fell asleep on their couch and we ended up staying for dinner. Vonnie’s dad makes a damn fine curry despite not knowing exactly what its meant to be…I thought it was very like a madras at first but then he added coconut milk to it to calm it down a little so I’ve no idea what it ended up being. Went home and fell asleep after a little bit of knackering my brain out with some golf on my phone.

Today’s tasks include loads of crap at work and going to see a mortgage adviser at lunchtme to see if theres anyway I can get a mortgage. The flats went up a wee bit in value so hopelfully it will be enough but we’ll see.

Tags: bank, Carribean island, CGI, Chocolate Factory, east coast, Glasgow, golf, phobias, swimming, The Month club

“In the acting game, you spend a long time fighting against what the director perceives you to be. And half the time the directors don’t know.”

“Most actors I know come from a screwed up background, so it makes sense that if you can walk on to a space and recreate your reality, then that’s the place that will become very dear. And what I love about actors and the bohemian scene, for all that a lot of us are wankers, there’s a genuine classlessness and there’s no discrimination on the basis of sexuality, colour, religion. We’re by no means the perfect species but on the whole we’re a pretty nice bunch of people to be around…”

“But once you’re in the movie business, that’s where you meet the real criminals. You meet the guys who no law will ever prosecute – these are the studio bosses, the guys who swan around town with ?80m yachts.”

“I worked with murderers for a long time after I left university – one thing you realise about the gangs and the criminals is that it’s acting by another means. If you go into a bank or a shop and you want them to believe that you’re going to shoot them, that’s an acting exercise. If you want to turn to someone else who’s as tooled up as you are and persuade them to put their knife down because you’ll use your knife, that’s an acting exercise. Nine out of 10 delinquents are frustrated actors.”

Tags: bank, Peter Mullan